Thanks Sara, that is really helpful. I thought about it later when less emotional and it seemed to me that the giving was tainted by ‘wanting something out of it’ and that’s why not getting it burned so badly’ and left me feeling resentful about the ‘generosity’ . Yes definitely a lot of people pleasing and pride, of course, is the big one isn’t it? It reminds me also about Burgs saying that freedom is not needing things to be a particular way. I find it so hard not to think that things SHOULD be this or that.