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Thank you, thank you, thank you for the discourse Burgs 🙂 I find genuine kindness the most humbling and healing thing I’ve ever experienced. I am going to practice it more and more because it’s seems to me one the most meaningful way to spend time and energy. Bring back the Metta retreats please 🙂 Hehehehe. Kirsten, I hope you don’t mind me referring to your post, I realise it’s not for me to suggest answers for you and that it’s advice from Burgs you are looking for but as I mentioned something similar (as you mentioned) I thought I’d share some of my reflections. After many many years pondering the subject and trials with ‘being kind to myself’ and subsequent experiences of life it seems to be consistently true that when I drop the pride and show myself more kindness, both in thoughts and actions, then more kind situations and relationships come my way. I also sometimes catch a strong whiff of guilt and self-worth issues in my more stoic or desperate giving to others too, an undercurrent that is there for reasons that aren’t always readily apparent but there none-the-less in certain relationships. Usually with acquaintances, strangers and friends the air is fresh as a mountain meadow but with those don’t have as much of a choice with – family and close colleagues – the air starts to get a bit pungent. Ha! So I feel personally that by showing kindness to myself I can dissolve the undercurrent of guilt and lack of self-worth and then maybe I would see more clearly what is duty, responsibility, kindness, compassion, partnership, friendship and love and what is being leached. I am going to give it a go anyway. I’ll report back with how it’s progressing! I hope that helps a little bit. And if you have any good suggestions of how you show kindness to yourself, other than Metta, I would welcome some ideas 🙂