I have noticed since I was a child (5 years old maybe) that any so called ‘bad’ thought/action seemed to be followed almost immediately by a physical/mental punishment – for example repeating some gossip would be followed by stubbing my toe on the door or getting into a fight with a friend/family member etc., and it has definitely made me very conscious about what I think or say or do. I do expect now that if I think or do something so-called ‘bad’ there will be a punishment and it always happens – is this a fixation? Am I making myself be punished because I expect a punishment?
On generosity – I’ve always felt like helping the others around me and have done it whenever it has been possible. but by acknowledging this, am I diminishing its meaning? Should we not just be generous without thinking about the consequences? I thought the idea was to be generous as a feeling arising in your heart without thinking of the good effects it may have for you, so without thinking of any personal gain.