I have though many times over this horrendous, confusing and numbing year what am I to do. Should I move my young family out of London? And if we do, where do we go? How do I teach them when I feel so bogged down with this life? I have found this year to be so overwhelming that over summer, I felt fear I never felt before, all because I could not feel happiness and love in the simplest of moments. I will go back to this discourse over and over again, hoping that at some point I will know what to do.