This is going to be a very personal post.
Two weeks ago I found a lump and my GP immediately sent me to the Breast Clinic at my local hospital. I am now waiting for the biopsy results to confirm that I have cancer.
At the beginning of June, I was sitting in retreat at Buckland Hall feeling pretty fit and well, yet contemplating that I probably did not have a long future ahead of me, as I am in the last phase of my life. And now in the middle of July my path through life has taken a new turn. Suzuki Roshi summed up the dharma this way “Everything changes”!
I have often wondered how I would react when I was told by a doctor that I had a life- threatening disease. Well now I know. My initial response was to realise how appreciative I felt that I have had, and still have an amazing, precious human life, how grateful I am for the beauty of nature and music and dance, for the inspiring teachers who have unfolded the dharma for me and for the loving family members and friends, who have shared my journey on this earth.
The days ahead could well be rocky and I am sure I will feel many negative emotions along the way but I do know that the ground of my being is love and appreciative joy and peace within a vast, deep silence.