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I am far behind on the rest of the course but I thought I would share with you all my “oneness” experience relating to lesson 6.
I have read endless pages of literature and watched countless documentaries on the subject of our perception of “reality”, what is real and how do we know it? Is a question I have asked myself over and over again since childhood. Many beliefs seem to suggest that we are all the same, but experiencing the world through different “egos” only separated by our minds and our minds belief that we are all different. Even Einstein suggested that if we were able to use just 70% of our brains capacity we wouldn’t need a body, as we would exist as energy in a different form.
I have always, and still do keep my beliefs open as I think many different theories out there are possible and have merit. I understand the concept of us all being part of the same hole. Many spiritual and scientific beliefs join forces on this topic as there is evidence on both sides to suggest its true. But I never thought that I would experience this so clearly in my lifetime…
The story begins last summer when I read a book called “the psychedelic explorers guide – safe, therapeutic and sacred journeys” written by James Fadiman, who co-founded the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology, which later became Sofia University (California). The book is a step- by-step guide on how to use psychedelics safely, properly and their many positive uses if used correctly.
The book (which took me 6 months to read) suggests that the journey is done within nature, in a peaceful and safe place, with an impartial “guide” to watch over you. I decided to do this on the Wild Coast of South Africa, where I had already planned on going with my family at the end of the year.
I wanted my spiritual journey to be as pure as possible, so before we set off to the Wild Coast I decided to do a 4-day meditation retreat on the Coast of SA near Cape Town. The aim of the retreat was to calm me, and to clear negative energy I had been holding onto since I was a young teenager. The retreat couldn’t have been better, set on the backdrop of a small mountain. Ponds, trees and nature surrounded us. Sue Cooper was a great teacher and mentor. We ate beautifully made organic food, and did meditation walks and Thai Chi under the African Sun. it was the perfect place to unwind and work on myself.
Although it was mentally hard work, the retreat did wonders for me. I felt lighter and brighter after I left. I drove up the coast with my family for 7 days before we got to the Wild Coast. The drive was a spiritual and sacred journey in itself!
Once we had spent 3 days in our Eco Lodge I was ready for my journey to begin. I took the recommended dosage, sat on the hillside and watched my family play on the endless white sandy beach. As they dipped their feet in the river I could see hazy reflections of the water rippling through the sky. I knew it was time to begin.
I went back to the Rondavel, (African hut) lay back on the bed, closed my eyes and tried to relax. I could hear the sea crashing with animals and people outside, the noises were distracting me, and as the book recommended I put headphones on, and blindfolded myself. I was listening to music called “Kuan Yin Bowing Chant” that I had been introduced to on the retreat. Its one of the most beautiful and relaxing pieces of music I have ever heard. As the music played I felt myself slowly slipping away into nothingness. The music disappeared to background noise, and the void of darkness became all I could see and feel. My mind was completely clear, and there was just blackness. All of a sudden I became a bright white light spanning in an endless horizontal direction. I felt a wave of euphoria and was completely at peace knowing that I had become this infinite light; it had no beginning and no end. I knew that somehow my life, as I knew it was a simple reflection, or a small dot on this everlasting light beam. My new self then merged into what I can only describe as a multi-dimensional river made of pure infinite energy, flowing endlessly in all directions. At this point I couldn’t hear the music anymore or feel my body, I felt like I had been transported to anther universe where the laws of physics didn’t apply. I touched myself on the chest to see if my body was still there. I couldn’t feel my chest; I could just feel my hand stopping near where my chest would be. This jogged me into thinking again, and immediately my family came into my mind. One by one each family member I thought of merged into the infinite river of energy. As did the trees, mountains, the sky and stars. There was no concept of time in this realm; everything that I knew to be real had transformed into this endless, timeless energy, floating and flowing through different dimensions like a river. I was overwhelmed with feelings of awe and gratefulness. It was completely peaceful; it felt like I had become the universe and the universe had become me. There was no separation between myself, and this universal energy. Although I didn’t understand the experience from a logical point of view, I could clearly see and feel that everything we know to exist is the same intelligent energy manifested in whatever form it chooses, and there is nothing separating us.
At this point my guide came into the room to check on me. I opened my eyes and felt a peace and serenity towards life and death that I had never felt before. Kerry told me I had been in the hut for over 2 hours. I just started laughing, as I knew how hard it would be to describe to her or anyone else what had happened. She left the hut, I blindfolded myself, lay on the bed again and my journey lasted three more beautiful, insightful hours.
As I awoke I started thinking about how to put meaning to this experience. I understand that because of passed learning on this subject, my views, feelings and interpretations could be highly influenced. I am also aware that as human beings we are instinctively fearful of death, and anything to convince us that there is some afterlife waiting for us we will gravitate to try and alleviate that fear. While I was still deep in thought, and the African hut was spinning in all directions I decided to change scenery. I stumbled to the local restaurant, said hello to friends I had made over the last few days, I shook my friends hand and it felt as if I was shaking my own hand. This experience of feeling the “oneness” with another human being was just as profound as my journey. And it was great to see that I had carried my experience of connection with me back into reality, as we know it.
Regardless of the meaning behind my experience, (which I am still deliberating) I can say for certain that it has made me a better human being. The intense feeling of complete connectedness has worn off considerably, however I can certainly say that I now feel more connected to every human being on the planet. Although I don’t think about the experience on a regular basis, the feeling of being connected with every human being and every life form being a part of myself in some way has stayed with me. I feel that giving back to humanity is an obligation of ours rather than a chore. Signing up to the Give back Generation program is a direct result of my spiritual experience in the Wild Coast. I am really hoping to connect with other like-minded people, who also understand the connection and responsibility we have with the earth and the people in it.
Kerry, a few friends and myself have started doing a Dana day once a month. We have been handing out goodie bags to local homeless people (Camden and the west end). Our eventual aim is to help these people get back onto their feet and give them the chance to integrate back into society. I am in talks with venues in the west end to pilot workshops from. If anyone reading this has any experience in this field and would like to join our group or help in any way with our project then please get in touch. Any help, direction, ideas or motivation is welcome. The more people that can help the stronger we can become and the greater impact we can have.