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#50679
Lotus
Participant

Starting this course with guidance from Burgs I thought I’d be off doing ‘the meaningful’ good deeds in no time. I soon realised I have a way to go. I over-analyse the lessons, too ridged when meditating and was being too mindful of everything in my daily life. Consequently I stopped sleeping at night my head buzzing. Now I’ve experienced why concentration and mindfulness should grow together. Thinking of beautiful things. I see beauty and ‘wow’ moments in many things – music, photographs, plants that have the sweetest perfume to watching the smallest insect that has the same life force within as I do … but … I’m not actually sure I am really connected to life/nature or just seeing with my eyes not my heart. I feel I am a visitor who has landed on this amazing planet but I am nothing to do with it. Whilst spending time out in nature as the recent lesson asked, I was walking in woodland but noticed I was feeling surprisingly awkward and self conscious. Nature suddenly seemed a powerful force. A strong, quiet confidence of never ending, moving energy. I wanted to sit in a corner somewhere overwhelmed. Today laying on the grass this sunny weekend watching some birds float around the sky made me smile. I don’t mean to but take life too seriously. The discourses are always just where I am at and I am so grateful for the compassion they bring. Thank you Burgs and the team.