Hello fellow givebackers,
I distinctly remember taking part in a Toltec workshop called the ‘jump into being’… took place close to a Tor in South Devon at a time when I felt very confused about life. It involved participating in a number of Toltec practices over a three day period ending in a ‘big experience’ at the end.
It was my first workshop and it felt very intimidating at first, so much internal noise and baggage about what people thought of me. The idea of having to open up and partake in these strange practices filled me with anxiety and nervousness. I put everything into that workshop, all the pain, confusion and sense of not belonging. But as the workshop went on I began to realise that others were suffering the mind games and emotional turmoil that I was. This was such a huge relief in itself; to find out that I was not the only one.
By the end of the workshop I was ready to let go of everything… and after it was over; after taking part in the last ‘exercise’ I remember sitting on this Tor with the others, listening to the teacher reciting poetry and feeling complete oneness, a lightness I had forgotten was even possible. I had read about the heart and how you were supposed to open to it and listen to it and it dawned on me that this is what it felt like. I felt connected to all those on the workshop and to the land and an overwhelming sense of gratitude flooded my being for being given this life and this experience and all the pain that had led up to it.
This feeling carried me for weeks after the event and left me open to appreciate the love and beauty in the world around me. A truly moving experience.