Kate, thank you for sharing your story.
I look forward to Burgs’ response to your question…
I suppose inner resistance can make change painful. When we resist wanting to change. Releasing negative patterns that we feel don’t belong to us anymore to some extent implies releasing our identity, and often our ego is very invested in that (even when it doesn’t serve us) and we very much fear a loss of identity. Both at conscious and subconscious level. I suppose that is why the more aligned we are with our awareness, the easier it is to shed things that we feel no longer serve us.
Someone once told me a phrase I will never forget. She said:” you either come from fear or you come from love. ”
That simple phrase really stuck. I use it often when I react to things, or make decisions.
When the desire to change comes from a place of fear, it is difficult and painful. When the desire to change comes from a place of love, it isn’t.