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Wow our recent experience encompasses those themes of Self, Vertu, Relationship and Mortality. Our son had an accident and is gone. He was 28 yrs old so at least lived part of his life or maybe all the life he had to live with us? He had difficulty finding a strong sense of self, so had a quiet sadness but this year dedicated himself to our huge exhausting move to France. He was the most compassionate being I had the luck to live with, always seeing and helping the weaker, lonely one with a big smile. He had his demons that kept plaguing his own attempts at balance over the years, felt stuck but he faced his ” failings” with lucidity, courage and honesty . The family ‘s dynamic was very complex, the love is there but not expressed well or even taken for granted. My husband is full of remorse not seeing him go that day and specially after a silly argument about a trivial detail. I know there is no guilt but so much regrets! And yes there is this passing on of suffering, my husband ‘s family lack of love due to past traumas, oulala. Yes the ancestors are entwined with us and our descendants… There is huge healing happening now in our fractured families. We are really transcending the grief into a celebration of him and life and feeling him more present now than when he was alive but his light dimmer. Metta