Ah, dear! The need to be liked and approved of – how draining it is! My reflections on self-honesty kept circling around this need to be “a nice person”. Of course, work on the paramis can take me further into feeling that my genuine response (which may not be so nice) needs to be repressed, rather than felt. I can convince myself about things rather than be really honest about them – convince myself I didn’t mind when I did. This idea of self uses up so much energy.
When I am striving to be more virtuous, it seems a knife-edge between striving to be better and overriding what’s really going on?