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#16170
Alastair
Participant

Hello beautiful people!

Wow, another thought provoking and confronting week’s worth of material. So grateful to be on this path and to have such an inspiring guide and fellows to share it with.

I’ve been going through a real shift or process of reorganisation over the past few years in the midst of which feeling lost, disconnected and lacking desire/motivation but with an incomplete/frustrated/transitioning spiritual connection to stand in its stead/drive me on. Im excited to feel like I might be beginning to walk out into a new and scary cycle (scary, in part, as historically I have been a very good ‘starter’ but not so good at having the determination, patience, perseverance and perhaps courage of conviction to see through projects or ideas to conclusion, finding it easier, or rather requiring less energy and risk, to slope back into a well ploughed furrow).

I left a city job to spend a couple of years at home with my young daughters – best thing I ever did and can’t recommend it highly enough to any new dads out there! (and not least because it gave me the space to really explore my meditation and all that goes with that) – and recently returned to work in the west end. In my first week, wandering around central London I was completely overwhelmed by the crowds of people and felt a huge charge and sadness in my chest in response to the sheer volume and conflict of what I perceived to be so much self-oriented mental energy. Naturally, and somewhat depressingly, I have (re)learned how to block it out over the past few months. So, it was interesting to read about reaching the point in our spiritual journey at which it becomes necessary to withdraw to a natural environment, as it spoke to how I have been feeling for a while and it is affirming of potential next steps – I just long for the sea and the big sky, haha! What stops me? Still fear of financial insecurity as much as anything else though I wish that weren’t the case (still plenty of work to do). But in the same breath, I kind of feel confident that I’m where I need to be right now, that I’ll continue to be exactly where I need to be and that one day in the not too distant future that will be by the beach!

Burgs, in a way related to the broader and ongoing discussions of understanding karma, I also wanted to share that I have appropriated some of your teachings into a post meditation prayer of sorts and I find so much strength and peace in it that I wanted to share it with you and others on the course – “help me to see that: everything is perfectly as it is meant to be; not a hair is out of place; it was always going to be this way” – I love it – thank you thank you thank you.

May all beings be truly happy and without suffering.

Alastair