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#11607
Kirsten
Participant

I find letting go very difficult too Miranda and admit to being very controlling as a result of feeling very insecure in life. That feeling has always been with me since I was a child even though I was always supported materially. There was just a feeling of not being safe and needing others to look after me. I fully understand the idea that 90% of karma is mental karma and struggle with stability of mind which meditation helps enormously. The five hindrances are interesting. Doubt and Restlessness jump out immediately as culprits. I look for the middle way with doubt as it is easy to have faith but important not to be gullible! I notice mental karma a lot when I jump to react to things and realise that what I assumed happened didn’t actually happen or that person didn’t actually say that or mean that but some stock of reactions/tendencies in me is making me feel aggrieved. It feels very real, the notion of mental karma – very easy to say, yes I see that in my life.